Have you ever wondered why some people just seem so happy all the time? Do you know their secret? Do they know something about life that you have missed along the way? Is their attitude the only thing that appears to be different? Perhaps they have more money. At times it might appear that they are more successful in their careers. If there are no major health problems, then maybe their joy comes from just being alive and well.

I’ve often wondered why some have more satisfaction in life than others. Is it due to the lack of goals or need to achieve? Why is it that even for those that are really successful they have a lack of joy in their personal lives?

For many years I’ve had the distinct opportunity to look at the concept of detachment. Well, what does that exactly entail? The dictionary defines “detachment” as the state of being disinterested, impartial, or aloof. This does not mean that one does not care.

When you are faced with a circumstance that is rather negative or hurtful, do you take on the energy of the person in distress? Do you empathize so greatly that you cannot see or know boundaries with this person?

While we are in a negative situation or a power play, we tend to get completely engrossed in the outcome. We perceive what is happening as so crucial that we don’t see or can’t acknowledge that the outcome is not a part of us. We begin to only see or sense the outcome from our own point of view. When was the last time that you stepped aside and looked at a particular situation from “detachment?” This does not mean that you don’t care about the individual. Feelings and desires creep into a situation without our even becoming aware of what happened until it’s too late at times.

See if you can step outside of the situation to be a part and yet distant from it. How does it look from the outside? Can you see more clearly? Are your feelings separate at this point?

My friend has this saying “A hundred years from now, it won’t make a difference.” This is so true. So, how do we detach from a situation? We begin by taking a step back and looking at the conversation, situation, argument, etc. as though we are not a part of it. This does not mean that you stop loving the person. This does not mean that you don’t care about the outcome. This step is not always comfortable or easy to do, but the results are astounding. The results allow us to have more JOY in our lives. Yes, that’s correct. We are speaking of more JOY.

If you are not getting caught up in verbal arguments, power plays, creating terminal endings for others, then you are more balanced and have more space to allow JOY to surface in your daily existence.

We do this by consciously setting our thoughts aside and watching the situation from an outsider’s point of view. When I have done this, it is amazing how quickly the conclusion appears. It is also interesting to note that not only do you recognize the change, but so does the other person. Sometimes it might take the other person several days or weeks to process what has happened, but in the end, they know that the situation did not need to occur.

JOY is the absence of sorrow. JOY is the glad feeling of merriment. It is what comes from not getting caught in another person’s scenario.

JOY allows oneself to enjoy the energy from a state of detachment. Again, this does not mean that you don’t love or acknowledge the person(s) involved in this situation. It just means that you don’t get caught in their agenda of sorrow and negativity.

The next time you are faced in a situation that causes great distress, mentally step aside and see what’s happening with detached vision and emotions. You will be able to participate and yet not take on their agenda. The result is that there is more JOY in your life. There is more space to allow more freedom of movement and positive feelings and visions.

So ask the universe now to have more joy and spontaneity in your life. Sit back and watch what happens. You might be pleasantly surprised at what you are creating. Enjoy!